Sounds of a Twisted Mind

I don’t always want to be the jolly and happy person that everybody is used to be around with.
There are times that I want to let the darkness and the bad mood to overcome me.
I feel better if I’m that way. I feel more human and in touch with myself.
I have my times and bad moments. And sometimes I don’t want to be consoled. I don’t really like it when people are so into ‘helping’ me. I’m just not the type. It irks me more than it helps my mood. Better to leave me alone and let me wallow on my own time. Then I’ll be better. Just let me be. I love to sort things out on my own.

I think I’m the most apathetic person that I know.

If I was in a logic table, I’m neither a 1 nor a 0 - I’m an X. A don’t care.

As dictionary.com defines it:

And that perfectly describes me when it comes to most things. I can be emotional and passionate, yes, but most of the time… I just don’t care. I let things happen on their own.  I just let them be. I find it hard to conjure some emotions about some other things that other people find exciting - so often times, I just smile and try to act the best way that I can although if you look into my eyes, you’ll see how unexcited I am.

It’s a gift and a curse at the same time. I learn not to be affected on things that are happening and that makes me think clearer, but at the same time, I think it comes off that I am frigid or something. I just don’t like talking about other stuff -  I find them unimportant. I still have to find things that will really excite me and will release my passion.

But I like it this way. Maybe soon I learn to care more or whatever. But now… I just don’t. I’m ok this way. It keeps me sane and grounded - and that’s what matters.

frustration’s mounting high.

i need to freakin’ release this or else, all hell will break loose.

damn it.

sadly, I have forsaken my tumblr account. the past couple of month is so crazy and happy at the same time. so what’s up?

i’ve finally done the big move - I’m now in one of the most awesomest (that’s intended :P) city in the world. it’s been one hell of a ride but i’ve finally settled down.

after a month of searching for a job, I landed one in the state government. the environment is seriously different but it’s a good start. right now, what’s keeping me busy is the application for my perm visa and that’s well on its way.

there’s so much happening that’s worth sharing… so I will try my best to update this tumblr account religiously :P

let’s see if I can stick to this or i’ll just fail again. haha!